Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Anonymous Brilliant writer
Have you ever had one of those days when you question yourself as to the meaning of life? What happens when you die, or whether there really are aliens in the universe? How about those questions about ghosts,bigfoot, the loch ness, nyp's secret monster, and oh, the loch ness, did I mention the loch ness??
Yeah, I havent too. Sakinah ( yeah, she's wearing glasses now. The contacts wimp) has allowed me, anonymous brilliant writer that I am, to guest blog today. Because frankly, she has no idea on what to write about on her blog. Consequently, being the kind, humble and irresistible being that I am, have decicded to write in her place instead.
I bet you're scratching your toes wondering who this mystical writer is. Well, pfft, if you knew who I was, I'd be in pretty high demand, then I wouldn't have time for dear,lovely ( you have no idea how hard it was typing that) sakinah.
Alas, today's edition is not about wonderful me. Instead it is about the various misconceptions that people seem to have about Sakinah. Let me first list down everything you probably know about Sakinah right now, then I shall reveal the startling realization about all these facts.
And therefore, we begin.
Thing you know about Sakinah
1. She has a perfect anatomy of the human body. ( Have you seen how bloody slim she is??!!)
2. She is ever sweet,and polite
3.She never curses,swears,puts a finger in any orifice
4. She is the epitome of innocence. She has no idea what fornicating is. I bet you dont too.
5. She has a ladylike,genteel personality
6. She worries a lot
7.She thought genteel was supposed to be gentle. And before I continue, HELL YEAH GENTEEL IS A WORD LOOK IT UP
8.She giggles. ( esp when a certain someone is around)
9.She does her 'work' exceptionally well
10. Of course, she has a very brilliant anonymous writer as a friend
Right, she's laughing at me again as she bites her toes. Sigh, now she's asking me what toes are. Toes are the things near your eyes,right? Those black furry things that arch when you have a 'WHAT' expression on your face.
Back to the topic at hand. Brace yourself my wee laddies, I shall now convey the truth about Sakinah to the whole world.......Perhaps you shouldnt read it.....I mean......
Youre all 18 right? Ok, let's carry on with the show.
1. Sakinah eats babies for breakfast. No really. She came to school once with a rattle sticking out of her mouth.
2.She hates people. I guess when you have a brilliant anonymous writer as a friend who hates peaple, you pretty much start to hate people too.
3. She has 12 fingers. Dont ask where the other two are. She'll deny it. But you know and I know that that's not true.
4. She has a retarded friend name Paul. (He just mentioned he thinks he's hot. See, retarded.)
5. At home, she has a collection of e.y.e.s . Yep, she collects eyes. You know, after eating the babies. she keeps them. Something about a voodoo ritual.
6. She loves paper. Her house is made of paper.Her room is paper. Yeah, I don't get that too...
7. She's in love with me. That I can't fault her. Everybody is
See, now she's asking me to write more. As I am so compliant and eager to listen to my kitty Sakinah, I shall stop. So go away.
